Confusion is nothing new.

Seeing his name flashing on the caller identity made her heart flip over. Hearing his voice, deep and endearing, say ‘hello’ gave her inevitable tingles and put a happy smile on her face. Five minutes into a conversation and she was hooked, to say the least. They’ discuss everything, territory that others dared to venture.  For hours they’d talk, losing track of time in the other’s company. It was all perfect.

Or so she thought.

He’d mentioned them, quite a few times, but she’d come to realize that he’d moved on from his old self and was now looking for a change. Someone new. Someone like her?

I’m in love with someone.

Oh. Who?

You’re going to think I’m a real idiot…

Tell me.

I know she’ll never say yes to me or feel the same way…

Just tell me.

The name that followed was not hers.

And it broke her heart.

To think of the hours they’d passed, the secrets they’d shared and the tears she’d cried over things she could tell only him. He’d talked of love and left devastation in it’s wake.

I need you to help me.

What’s wrong now?

I need to get this off my chest. I don’t care what she says. Tell me what to do.

With a heavy heart,

You have to tell her.

I don’t know what to say. Will you help me?

Almost in tears,

Of course.

Thank you. I knew I could count on you.

She didn’t know exactly he told her or how she had responded but frankly, she didn’t care anymore. Or did she?

He had painted a picture of his perfect girl for her, a long time ago when she did care, and in an instant she’d known who fit the description.

Down-to-earth, cute, funny, someone he could have a conversation with, someone who didn’t have a huge ego, someone who loves food, loves little kids and wasn’t afraid of adventure.

He’d been talking about her.

It broke her to think that, even though she didn’t want to admit it, she still did care. As long as she’d live, she’d think back to those few hours and wonder where she’d gone wrong. She’d wonder why he couldn’t see what was right in front of him. Blinded, blinded by love and feelings gone amiss for someone else who they both knew would never feel the same way about him.

By day, she’d dream of what could have been. By night, she’d pray for the tears that ran down her face and for the knives that stabbed at her heart – she just wanted it to stop.

But she didn’t want to stop feeling that way about him.

She couldn’t, even if she wanted to.